GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY PT2

I just wanted to draw a bigger and clearer picture which I wasnt able to do in pt1. I touched on what I felt were some of the mistakes women are making when choosing or not choosing the right mate. My main focus was on women who will pass up a good man because he is not on her level financially. In pt2 I want to take a look at the historical role of the man and woman in the family dichotomy.

In the beginning of civilization we were hunter/gatherers. The man’s physical make up and aggressive Testosterone hormone made him more suitable for the task of going into the wild and bringing back dinner. It made him more suited to carry heavy twigs or branches to build huts and it made him more suited to protect his family from the dangers outside the village.

The women on the other hand, could gather fruits and berries quite easily, they could cook and weave baskets all while multi tasking and nursing their young. Pretty hard to hunt and build huts with a young infant on your breast or a child running around getting into trouble.

As civilization advanced we went from hunter/gatherers to trades men. You had your butcher, your blacksmith, your guy who just made dairy products, your tax collector etc etc. Though not as dangerous as hunting, or as tedious as building a house out of twigs and branches, these task without modern machines of today still took elbow grease, and was much more suitable for a man. I mean what was the alternatives? Men nursing their young (oh wait their even bottles at this point?) or maybe men bathing the children and cooking them a meal, while the ladies made horse shoes and hardware and did the back numbing labor. Yeah that makes sense.

So from the beginning of time till this stage of history, women were pretty dependent on men, to put a roof over there head, and make sure there was food in the house. We still had the “traditional” roles. As we move closer to the industrial age we find the same circumstances. Hard back-breaking factory work in the cities, and more nurturing motherly task in the home. Though both parties did what their genetic make up and DNA made them more suited to do, I could imagine a sense of helplessness from the women. Maybe not being fulfilled emotionally by the man of the house. Feeling trapped maybe. Being stuck in a situation with someone she may not want to be with because if she leaves, where would she go? She basically had to wait for some young stud to notice her and whisk her far away like in the romance novels and just like the current husband, take care of her and the children for the rest of her life. I can see how this arrangement could cause some resentment. Not feeling powerful. Feeling dependent. Feeling unappreciated, etc.

So when the world wars started and women started taking jobs in the factories, so weapons and other vital products continued to be produced while the men were away at war, this is the first time in history where women started to taste independence. They felt powerful now, appreciated, useful. Most of all the gender roles they seemed to be “cursed” with. The role that they resented so much because of how it trapped them in their circumstances seemed to be changing. They welcomed their men back from war with open arms but the taste of ‘freedom” and independence was addicting. Women started to also integrate into the work force. telephone switch board operators, secretaries, waitresses. They were now earning money and feeling more and more “equal” with their male counter parts. This switch in the family dynamic didn’t happen over night. It took decades for this switch in the social conciousness to be widely accepted as the new norm. Probably after the 80’s with images of women going to work in suits with running sneakers on was there a realization that things were forever changed.

With this slow change in the dynamic of the family economic structure and change in gender roles came changes in the family bond as a whole. The family was no longer bonded by necessity. Woman could pick up and leave when ever they wanted. They could easily find a job or two and make ends meet without the need of a man anymore. The divorce rate went up. The family struggled and in time fell apart. For the first time in the history of man did people stay together because of love and happiness and not because of convenience. To bad for us we weren’t really that good at figuring out what true love was. It was easier to stay together for convenience. Now we had to actually work at loving someone and being with them for the right reasons. GUESS THATS ONE OF THE REASONS THE DIVORCE RATE IS SO HIGH. We don’t have much practice at that. But at least there is no more dependency. Women finally got their way out. That freedom and independence. They felt powerful finally. “Equal” because that’s what is really important right. being “equal”?

The only problem with this new dynamic is though women are climbing the ladder of eduction and career opportunity faster than lightning and due to other cultural dynamics men, especially Black men are struggling like never before, and the Black Woman is more succesful than ever before. The shift has been completed. We no longer live in a society where black smiths, butchers and farmers are the main professions. We don’t even live in the industrial age anymore. We live in a totally different society than we have even experienced in history. Most jobs can be done from a desk. The back-breaking labor of yesterday is done by machines and robots. It is no longer a necessity for women to be at home cooking and cleaning and raising their young. We have microwave dinners and processed foods that are instant that men and young children can cook with little problem. We have professional child care facilities so that the womans work day can be extended. She is no longer needed at home. She can work work work for that freedom she has become accustomed to. No more is she a slave to necessity. No longer will she stay in a relationship/marriage that she feels unfulfilled in.

This is a good thing right?

The problem with this shift in our culture is though women are making the money now and in a lot of cases more money that their counter parts especially in the minority communities, they resent us for not being as financially independent as they are. For the entire history of human kind men have provided, food shelter and safety and now that the tables have turned and women are independent, not only do they want their independence and financial power but they still want a man to feed them, shelter them, and protect them? This doesn’t sound hypocritical to you? You wanted financial freedom so you had the option to stay or leave if you wished from a relationship that didn’t fulfill you. You now have that. You don’t have to be with a man for convenience ever again. Now you have the choice to be with someone based on love and affection and mutual likes and interest.

My question is now that you have that freedom, why do you continue to pass over good men, that share your interest, stimulate you mentally and support you emotionally and spiritually simply because he doesn’t make as much as you? SO WHAT! Can you imagine how assed out the women would have been throughout history if men as a whole just decided that we didn’t need your cooking and cleaning and child care abilities anymore. We’d just eat chaired meats over an open fire, accompanied by the bread, and cheese we brought from town. have a pint of beer to wash it down at the local pub and just fuck strange women with no care about her getting pregnant. What was she gonna do? Get a DNA test? Through out history, men have needed women a lot less than they have needed us but for some strange reason we have provided, protected, feed and clothed you. Now that the tables have turned everything is a damn mess.

Now I can imagine what you are thinking as you read this. “This son of a bitch!” “Who the hell does he think he is?” “He is probably one of those broke bastards he is referring to, that’s why he is so upset” Some of you may even be more interested in my spelling and grammar mistakes than seeing any truth in my words. Ladies, this blog is not meant to offend you. Actually I want you to be happy. I want you to find love and be fulfilled in your life. I’m sorry if Im lacking tact, and come across a bit straight forward. Im just frustrated with you ladies. You are to blinded by your own pride. To accustomed to your own freedom, and have been drinking the Kool-Aid for way to long. I just want to open your eyes to the fact that you have been getting in your own way for far to long now. I need you to decided what you want and stop going back and forth. Is it the opportunity for love and affection and mental and spiritual support or is it “traditionality”, to keep your debit card in your pocketbook when going to the movies or out to eat or to have a man take care of you and make you feel safe and taken care of? Are you a modern woman who doesn’t need a man, but constantly complains how lonely she is and takes out her frustration on all the men she knows that aren’t meeting her standards or you more sensible and realize that in this new day and age the “traditional” gender roles no longer apply and its up to you two as a couple to decide what the others role will be and to be ok with that decision?

If you’re a single woman, mother, provider and your beef is when you find a man he needs you to take care of him like he is your child as well, and he wont get off his ass to try to be a provider, then you can ignore this whole blog post. It’s not directed at you. This is directed at the modern woman of today that says she wants love and doesn’t need your money, and when it presents its self to her, she says to herself, “i like this love thing, but can it come with a bit more money as well?” Then she turns her back on love because she is hoping to upgrade to the love with the nice car and condo as well.

I was told as a child, “No one gets what they want all the time, except babies”. We have to make decisions and except them. We have to realize that we can not have our cake and eat it too. It’s just not how life works. ladies GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY. Please. I beg you. Happiness is closer than you think. No need to be successful and bitter anymore.

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GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY…. PT1

I was inspired to write this post after reading the tweets of a woman I follow on Twitter. She is educated, seems to have a fulfilling job, holds down her household and her children alone and is God-fearing. This woman was tweeting about how independent she is, paying rent since she was a teen, how hard she loves, and how she would appreciate having a man who could hold her down financially for once instead of her always being the one who brings home the bacon and pulls out the debit card when out on the town.

I hear these sorts of comments all the time. The frustration from black women specifically that feel they are ready to find “Mr Right” and feel that the men they come across are all lacking in something. Integrity, character, capacity, finance….. something.

So many educated black women are lost and healthy, happy relationships continue to elude them. I hear your cries, I read your FB status and I read your tweets and I feel pity on you all. You see the men you date as the problems and never see inside yourselves. The few who claim to look inward, I find their attempts are in vain. Yes that man was a cheater. Yes that man ran from responsibility. Yes that man didn’t treat you like his queen. I agree with you. That is not your fault. You are not solely the blame, but u did let that good man go because he didn’t have enough “swag”. You did let a good man pass by because he had a low paying blue-collar job. You did request space from that good man whom couldn’t flip the bill for dinner and movies because his pockets were popped all the time. Didnt you say, “I don’t need a man to provide for me. I can provide for myself! I am a strong black woman who’s been on her own since 16 and I don’t need a man for anything but to love me!” You do remember saying that don’t you? Well you got that and now you complain because he makes way less money than you? Black women get out of your own way!

Yes u have 2 degrees, yes you haves career and a condo, yes you own your own car. Yes you can cook and your ass looks great in those jeans but that is all superficial and surface. The men that love you see that but see your flaws as well. They see “inside” of you and love you anyway. They see you’re insecure, you have stretch marks, you have a couple of kids from other men, you don’t look very good when your make up is off, wig is on the night stand, and you have cold in your eyes and saliva dripping down your cheek. They see though you say you can cook you only cook on special occasions and it never quite comes out as good as you say you’re used too. They see that you compensate for your insecurities by being louder than everyone else. They know you’re needy and his time with his boys will dramatically be reduced cause you need “time” all the time. Ladies these men know that and they love you anyway. But with all that said, he doesnt make enough money and/or isn’t on the level of attraction you may want so….

All your accomplishments don’t make you a prime candidate for love. Just because you feel you love deeply doesn’t make you a better choice than the next. You all have faults that you will not acknowledge for more than 5 minutes when they are brought up to you. The point is again. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY! Your perspective is way off. I’m not saying settle. What I am saying is change what you believe are the priorities. Be more consistent with that, “Strong independent black woman” Mantra you’ve been repeating for years. If a man loves you and provides for you heart and spirit than allow yourselves to be happy. If you make more money, then pay for dinner and the movies. he isn’t less of a man or a good catch because he doesn’t match your spending power. At the end of the day, you need love, support, affection, and a partner. You need a complement. Not an equal. Cause guess what? Most people aren’t created equal. Someone is always, stronger, faster, smarter, more knowledgable, more emotional, more sensible, more logical. Our mates are supposed to complement. Not equal us. If God cared about equal, men and women would be exactly the same. He designed us to complement each other. Ladies again. Get out of your own way!

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“BRICK BY BRICK”

Artist Nathan Sawaya comes to NYC to make his solo debut with “Brick by Brick”, a show made up entirely of LEGO bricks. Nathan explores the limitless possibilities of the children’s toy.  The exhibition opens today at Agora Gallery  and runs March 23 through April 13, 2010.

Enjoy….





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OLD SKETCHES

Most of my artwork from 1993 to 2008 was destroyed in a flood. Here is some of the remains.

Hope you enjoy.

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RECORD MAKERS PROMO VIDEO

Ive come across this video the other day and since have seen it on many blogs and posted on facebook a few times, so I figure why post it. But then I said to myself, “Screw them. I like it.” Thats why Im posting it.

Enjoy……

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DROP YOUR NETS AND FOLLOW ME

I know how hard life can be. How stressful it may seem. How preoccupied you may feel with all of your goals. I understand. I too have been preoccupied. I too have spent so long trying to push forward, trying to reach that destination where I can look around and say, “Ahhh finally, I am happy. This is what I have been working for all this time. My efforts have paid off.”

I also know that while most of you wake up everyday trying to figure out what step to take next to reach that goal, that piece of the American Dream, some of you have another feeling pestering you. Some of you while chasing your dreams can’t help but feel empty. With each new accomplishment, each new degree, each new position and each new acquired luxury, you still feel an emptiness inside of you.

Some of you know that having a relationship with The Lord is the answer, but some of you don’t really understand what that means. For those of you who are saved and have excepted Jesus into your lives as your Lord and Savior like myself, think about what that really means. Lord and Savior….

Most of us understand what Savior means. We know that Jesus has paid the price for our sins. He has saved our souls from eternity in Hell, but what about Lord?

Main Entry: 1lord
Pronunciation: \ˈlȯrd\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English loverd, lord, from Old English hlāford, from hlāf loaf + weard keeper — more at loaf, ward
Date: before 12th century
1 : one having
power and authority over others: a : a ruler by hereditary right or preeminence to whom service and obedience are due b : one of whom a fee or estate is held in feudal tenure c : an owner of land or other real property d obsolete : the male head of a household e : husband f : one that has achieved mastery or that exercises leadership or great power in some area

1. When we acknowledge Jesus as our Lord we are giving him power and authority over our lives.

2. We acknowledge he is our ruler by hereditary right and service and obedience are due to him.

3. We acknowledge he owns us. He created us for his purpose

4. We acknowledge he is the head of our households and our lives

5. He is the “husband” and us “the church” are the bride

6. We lastly acknowledge that he exercises leadership and great power.

I realized today while reading Mathew in an attempt to recommit myself to learning God’s word and what it is he wishes for my life, that the Lord wants us to acknowledge him as Lord. He doesn’t want to just save your soul from damnation but he wants to be the head of your life. In Mathew 4:1-4

1 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. 3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”
4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’

The lord realizes that the very life force that keeps us alive, that nourishes our bodies and that is pleasing to the tongue…. food, is not enough to live on alone. Then in verse 18-22….

18 And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. 19 Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”20 They immediately left their nets and followed Him.
21 Going on from there, He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. He called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him.

He calls on Peter and his brother who are fishing. they are gathering food, the nourishment they need to continue to live. They have a huge net to catch the fish. More than likely they catch more than enough fish than are need for themselves and possibly sell the fish or provide fish for others. When Jesus sees them he calls on them to follow him, RIGHT THEN AND THERE. He doesn’t say “Go  and prepare.” He doesn’t say “Get your affairs in order. I shall come back for you soon.”, he doesnt say “Fold your nets up neatly and dock your boat someplace safe.” He tells them to drop their nets and follow him, he will make them fishermen of men. The passage goes on to say, they immediately left their nets and followed him. IMMEDIATELY. No questions asked. No hesitation. No, “One second Jesus, just let me catch this last fish.” They just left with the lord. They were obedient.

Jesus also called on James and John who were also fishing with their father. Like Peter and his brother Andrew they left their nets and IMMEDIATELY followed Jesus, but they also Left their father. This passage illustrates how even though your birth farther raised you, God our father is the father of all things and is an even greater authroity that your own parents.

Before I read these passages, I prayed to God to speak to my spirit, to make his words jump off the page and into my heart. The spirit lead me to see that this is not just a story. Some account of what happened over 2000 years ago to this one man, but its instruction. It’s a guide to live our lives. It’s not just a list of rules of what and what not to do. Its God’s word in the flesh speaking to us all if we stop and listen and give it a chance to speak to us.

God wants us all to be happy and fulfilled and he wants to use us for his purpose, but we need to be obedient and most of all allow jesus to be the Lord of our lives. When he says come with me, we need to go IMMEDIATELY! Not on our own time. It takes faith and trust to follow the Lord even though we have no idea where it is he is leading us. Sometimes we are afraid that he doesnt have our goals as a priority. That career or degree, or city we want to live in or person we want to be with, might not be what he wants for us, and so we will choose not to follow him because we want to do it our way first, but at the end of the day, who knows better than the Lord our God?


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“OUT TO LUNCH, BACK IN A HOUR”

I have sat in front of this computer on different occasions trying to get inspired to write an entry for the blog. I start writing and a few paragraphs in, I realize I have no interest in expressing this thought anymore. Like right now for example as I sit here and try to decide what to write, I can’t help but have this overwhelming feeling of “Who Gives a Fuck”. I feel so uninspired. When I first started this blog in January I was writing 3 to 4 entries a day, and now I’m lucky if I get two done per week.

I know my lack of interest is not due to being at a lost for words. I have many things on my mind that I would like to express. With careful thought I finally come to realized what the issue is. The fact is I am losing faith. This blog was started as a way for me to vent, rant and rave, and share information with the world. However I feel like the aim has changed somewhat. I have become to caught up in what people think. To caught up in whether they will give the information I share a fair chance and look into further for them selves. I wonder if the more contemplative entries will awaken the reader or help to inspire. I also look at the stats and see which post are getting the most traffic and I’m disappointed with what interest people. In short my lack of interest is a result of me losing faith in the mental capacity of man. More specifically my educated and semi successful peers.

I feel like I’m talking to a wall most of the time. So it’s not you that is crazy for buying into the collective conscious of our society, but me for continuing to try to show you the error of your ways, and most importantly your thinking. Think what you want. Have a ball, at least for now, while I don’t really give a fuck. I will log on and write as I’m inspired to do so. No more schedule or minimum amount of post per day. Just when ever I feel like it. After all I’m not getting any ad revenue for traffic or getting a prize for the amount of people I can “wake up” or inspire. So for now. Farewell my friends. I’m taking an extended vacation. See you when I see you.

The Sheepherder

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